Armchair advice dating
One thing about being a part of the Dating Advice Industry is that you inevitably check out other people’s advice.
Sometimes it’s a case of just seeing what’s in the cultural zeitgeist – a way of putting your finger on the pulse of society by seeing not only what people are concerned about but also how people are reacting to it.
I think there is a difference sometimes in the way that people express the 'hostilities'...it's actually up to the receiver sometimes to determine what the messenger is saying.....I actually pay MORE attention to the ones who paint such a rosy picture of their past relationship or their ex, where absolutely NOTHING was wrong with it or them, and they're still BEST FRIENDS.......you wonder why they broke up in the first place. I look to see if they've been 'coached' into a false positive simply to SOUND 'healthy'.And though things could be very true for the person, and they are above board.... I mean, it's really too early in the dating process to refer them to counseling..this the reason we chalk up so many emails, IM's, phone calls and first dates to the failure column...because besides everything else we'd want and need to learn about someone, the first thing we have to deal with is they are still outwardly expressing their hostility about someone they once professed to love? I think people bring who they are and how they've dealt with past hurts into new relationships unconsciously, and then cannot fathom why a person does not want to deal with them.Typically this behavior starts to happen before the second or third date, when they're starting to feel comfortable about talking to you, and words like Franken-f*cker or Devils Spawn or The Sperm Donor are using instead of Bill or Tom or even "the kid's dad" (one g/f always called him "Mr. And I sit there and start thinking "gee, I wonder what her pet name is going to be for me if I don't live up to her expectations".So you're out on a date with a person and these behaviors and attitudes start popping up..do you do?